Are You Good Enough?
It’s my first day on set as a new recurring character for a major sci-fi television show.
I only have one scene with a short monologue. I’ve been a series regular on four tv shows, so this is a piece of cake.
But something’s not right with me… I can’t remember one particular line in my monologue. No matter what I do, THE LINE WON’T LOCK in my brain…
I was diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) years ago and have learned to manage it with diet, exercise, rest and yes, medication. But none of that was working.
The director yelled action, and we started the scene. All I can feel is pure FEAR. My heart is hammering at my chest as though it may break free from my body. Sweaty palms, my desperate eyes locked with the actor across from me. We get to “the line,” and I can feel the eyes of 150 people staring at me, praying I get the line right so we can move the on.
It Is Not There!
The director yelled CUUUT disappointedly. No smiles from the crew, the other actors avoid my gaze. All I can think is…
I AM BROKEN.
I never got that line right. I was EMBARRASSED, Devastated, and above all, I Hated myself. That night as I drove home in tears, I thought, why am I so broken? Why can’t I just be normal?
From nowhere, I remember the thought hitting me with a jolt, my breath slowing, the flow of tears taking a pause. A message from the universe, an answer to my desperate cry for help.
What If You Accepted Yourself?
What if I give myself compassion and care at this moment instead of resentment and rejection? A strange sense of calm washed over me at that moment, and I decided to forgive, accept, and love myself.
The next morning I Got Into Action with my doctors to figure out what had happened to me.
It turns out, menopause makes ADD symptoms worse and minimizes the effectiveness of the medication.
BINGO.
My doctors and I modified my ADD treatment and added hormone therapy for my menopausal symptoms and baby I’m back!
My recurring role turned into a single guest spot, and I will probably never get another audition from that casting office.
That’s ok. There are plenty of casting directors who keep me on their shortlist, and always bring me in for their projects. I’ve got the Audition Game so I’m gonna “bring it” in the room every time. ADD + menopause and all, I’m gonna Win!
We think we have to be perfect to book auditions and work as professional actors and to create the life of our dreams
We Don’t.
Even with all the stuff that makes us feel unmerited, unworthy and unlovable,
WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH!
Stop hating on yourself, stop believing you’re unworthy, stop waiting for confidence to find you, and Get In Action just the way you are.
Start doing the work to make your dreams your reality and love yourself through it all.
To learn more about Wendy and Acting Pros, check out the Audition Game at ActingPros.com!
October 18, 2019 @ 10:05 am
Love it and I love her! I can so relate. Thank you for sharing!!